Happy Birthday...I'm 43.

A day late and a dollar short perhaps? Maybe, but I have finally compiled my Tops and Bottoms of 2007 list. In addition to my usual, I've added a few new columns or parts. So, without further Apu, here is my newly improved and extensive listings of those things that raised my spirits or garnered my angst during the year that has now passed.

Top 5 Disappointments of 2007

5. Shadows Fall Threads Of Life (Atlantic Records)
One word - d'oh. After a brilliant album in The War Within and a three-year wait, this was all the boys from Boston had for the world? At best, Threads Of Life can be best described as The War Within 1.5; a slight upgrade with a few new bells and a whistle or two, but nothing that will make you think it was worth the time it took to download.



4. Damnation a.d. In This Life Or The Next (Victory)
I was hellaciously skeptical going in and for good reason. Why this band ever broke up in the first place will never make sense to me but getting back together after so many years seemed even more senseless. There are some moments on this album that are as crushing as any former fan of The Nation would hope but they are scattered helplessly amongst moments that are torturous to endure (ie; special guest vocals from Fall Out Boy).

3. Death From Above 1979 R.I.P.
Truthfully, I'm not entirely sure when these chaps decided to lay down their instruments and put to rest their combination garage rock disco mayhem but nonetheless, it saddens me deeply, having just discovered them one short year ago. Here we have a two-piece rock band capable of better music than many bands with many more members. Again, I am truly sad.

2. Reality TV
Seriously....stop it. Now. It's too much. Just stop. I can't handle no more.

1. The Writer's Strike
If you ever hear me weeping in the night, this is why. At a time where there is more quality TV than.........ever, the Writer's Strike is threatening to demolish many of our favorite programs all in one fell swoop, leaving the world with a multitude of prime-time game shows, bad reruns and 2-hour Wife Swap marathons. Someone PLEASE break out the cookies and get this thing resolved!



Best Movie Of 2007
Grindhouse
Did it have the biggest stars? Not really. Did it feature the best acting? Not on your life. Did it have the greatest writing or screenplay? Not so much. But for anyone who experienced this cavalcade of gore and violence in the theater, who walked away not feeling like that was the most fun anyone had had in a movie theater in the longest time? Not me. The fake trailers on all sides of the two separate movies were worth the $9 alone. On the feature front, you got a little bit of everything. Robert Rodriguez's Planet Terror was loaded with buckets of gore and blood, creating possibly the best atmosphere in a zombie film since George Romero's Dawn Of The Dead. On the "lighter" side, sociopath Stuntman Mike, played by the always excellent Kurt Russell, skimped in comparison to Terror but patience proved to be a virtue as the car chase that closed out Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof was likely the best in the history of movies. No other movie in 2007 could boast what Grindhouse delivered in droves.

Worst Movie Of 2007
Superbad
I wanted to say Knocked Up for this one but I couldn't stay awake through it. Instead, Superbad swooped down and ran away with the biggest pile of suck and never looked back. I am beginning to believe that I was merely fooled by The 40-Year Old Virgin due to Steve Carell's inclusion. Judd Apatow - Steve Carell = senseless dick jokes told by annoying characters that grow old after about 20 minutes. Problem is that Superbad is over 2 hours of monotonous dick jokes. Nothing clever and nothing terribly original.



Best Stand-Up Comedy Special/DVD
Bill Maher The Decider
If you know anything about Bill Maher, you know what to expect. There seems to be no such thing as a person who is on the fence about Bill Maher. Me? Huge fan. Huge. Immense. This failed to surprise me in the least, in that it was another hour of superb commentary on the world at large.





Best Stand-Up Comedy CD
Patton Oswalt Werewolves And Lollipops
Here was a pleasant surprise. Being a cast member of King Of Queens, I was more than ready to hate every word to spill from Patton Oswalt's mouth. Instead, he can be thought of as social commentary from a nerd's perspective. His bit on KFC alone is comedy gold. You have to hear it to really grasp it's brilliance.



Top 5 Shows Of 2007
5. The Office - Admittedly, this latest season is leaving a little bit to be desired. The whole Jim and Pam scenario was blatantly obvious but the jokes are not quite hitting their targets with great accuracy like they had in the past. Still, this show overall reigns as one perfect reason to not make Thursday night plans.
4. The Shield - As most shows age, they begin to lose their edge. Not The Shield. Six seasons in and it still twists and turns with the best of them. Granted, Season 6 is not quite up to snuff with the previous 5 but something tells me it's only a very minor dip before an explosive finale.
3. It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia - How does one accurately describe this show? Ridiculous? Insane? However one slices it, Sunny is funny. Goddamn funny.
2. Flight Of The Conchords - New Zealand's 4th most popular folk comedy duo ruled my world with this show. Throughout a measly 12 episodes, we got to follow the 2 Kiwi musicians and sidekick Murray Hewitt as they tried to establish their band while living in New York City. It's a different style of humor from most American humor but those who got on board were treated well.
1. Dexter - Here you have one of those shows where at the end of each episode, you find yourself proclaiming aloud "Damn this show!". It's that damn good. The show navigates flawlessly between darkly comedic and serious as a heartattack and through it all, you never find Dexter Morgan as anything other than the nice guy he pretends to be.

Honorable Mentions
5. Year Long Disaster s/t (Volcom)
Seeing them open for Clutch 2 years ago, all I remembered was that the bass player was from the underrated Karma To Burn. After numerous listens thanks to my brother, I have signed on to the ship of rock that is Year Long Disaster. Fronted by the son of the singer/guitarist of The Kinks, this trio finds a nice niche somewhere between Deep Purple and Boston (yes, I said Boston) with some added metallicisms to keep it modern.


4. Akercocke Antichrist (Earache)
Had I gotten this when it originally came out, this might have found itself higher on my list. Instead, few listens still managed to win it a spot here with me. Unlike many of the black metal genre, Akercocke shines with some of the most technical musicianship in metal today, blending progressive rock stylings and even occasional Eastern instrumentation. One of the best metal bands the world at large has yet to unearth.


3. Dream Theater Systematic Chaos (Roadrunner)
This is classic Dream Theater, right down to the last period at the end. In some ways, it might seem like they stagnate from album to album but it's kind of hard to stagnate when your music is as colorful and diverse as Dream Theater's. After delving into more of their melodic prog roots with their previous album, this collection heads more towards their metal stylings, though never without numerous mind boggling odd time jaunts.


2. Darkest Hour Deliver Us (Victory)
Maybe Darkest Hour has taken over the reigns once held by Shadows Fall? I'd say that this album definitely puts this band's best foot forward in an attempt to claim the title of champions of the new American metal movement. Drawing from the same well of Euro influence, Darkest Hour continue to frolic the path of dual guitar melodies in the forest of speed metal but, in my opinion, they have taken the lead in the race amongst American bands trying to be the best at this seemingly tried-and-true formula.

1. Sleepytime Gorilla Museum In Glorious Times (The End)
Here's another example of an album that might have appeared higher upon my list had I had the chance to spend more time with it. From my moments spent with this slab, I detect a collection of musicians who have as diverse a range of influence as you can get without total chaos. Maybe they are heading up a new sub genre of pure silliness metal, feeling like they are just as comfortable with Mastodon and King Crimson as they are with pure circus music and video game soundtracks. Inventive and scary.

...........drum roll..............

Top 10 Albums Of 2007
10. Swallow The Sun Hope (Candlelight)
Honestly, this album is not accurate in its portrayal of this band's strength. In reality, how could it? Seeing this band live was similar to being reawakened from a musical coma. Their live set was as powerful as anything I could have wanted to see in years. Still, this album contains the songs by which this amazing band propels their live sets night after night. On the surface, Swallow The Sun plays epic doom metal not too dissimilar to My Dying Bride but they veer off and carve their own path through the snow by dabbling in the progressive elements that enable them to separate themselves. I wish that this album could contain the sheer destructive force that is the live show of Swallow The Sun but until they reach these shores again, I will continue to make friends with this album to better acquaint myself with their weaponry.

9. Intronaut The Challenger (Transmission Loss)
The album's title is a perfect description of this mammoth band. If this were actually a proper album, it would have taken on all comers for my top spot but here is a live set that follows a 3-song EP. However, the fact that a mere 3 songs contain this much bravado should speak to the potential for this band to demolish everything in it's path. Intronaut graduated from the school of technical hard knocks but also bulks up the resume by playing with a force and confidence not seen in the more subtle technicality of other bands. Instead, Intronaut plays amongst the technical masters with the power and heaviness some bands dare not to tread.

8. Zozobra Harmonic Tremors (Hydra Head)
I couldn't tell you the last time I cared one iota of anything any member or ex-member of Cave In was involved in musically. I stopped following Cave In shortly after the release of Creative Eclipses and never looked back. By mere chance, I stumbled accidentally across this album and was eerily surprised by how stripped down and brutal this band could be. Rather than delving into weird soundscapes or straight forward metal, Zozobra starts anew by peeling away the layers and getting down to raw distortion and pulsating percussion. It's fairly simplistic on the surface with the addition of subtleties to keep it from being repetitive or boring. This project has potential to be destructive and refreshing.

7. Dimmu Borgir In Sorte Diaboli (Nuclear Blast)
Before I get into the music, I think Dimmu Borgir should move on from the whole Satan thing now that they are moving away from the Black Metal label. This album is their attempt at a concept album about a man who discovers power and freedom through Satan. Snore. Musically, Dimmu continues to build and expand from their prior albums, adding more grandiose orchestral elements as well as expanding into more progressive realms. There are moments in the middle where Dimmu Borgir begins to lose the overall vibe, especially considering how strong this album starts out. When this album came out, I proclaimed it to be the uncontested album of the year. Time has pushed this album back into the pack a bit but its strengths are enough to keep this album in the running.

6. Today Is The Day Axis Of Eden (Supernova)
This album seemed to take forever and a day to emerge. Since the previous and slightly disappointing Kiss The Pig, Steve Austin regrouped, moved his fort back to Tennessee, left Relapse behind, rebuilt his arsenal by launching his own label and fires back with this album, clearly the best Today Is The Day album since In The Eyes Of God. From the opening note, Axis Of Eden showcases what is so special and diabolical about this band. There are no hints of pretense here whatsoever. Today Is The Day is unbridled and unpolished rage and venom. While the production suffers some and has not been quite as clear as In The Eyes Of God since its release, Supernova seems to have breathed a new sense of purpose and focus into the Rev.

5. Clutch From Beale Street To Oblivion (DRT)
Question: how did this album end up here? Every year since I first laid out a "Best Of" blog, Clutch has won the top spot every time they had a new recording to offer up. This time, they were bested by a combination of other high quality releases and putting out an album that treads a bit of water. Where the past 2 albums have taken monster leaps forward, this recording seems to find Clutch in a spot where they are currently comfortable in their own skin at the moment. However, don't mistake this as me saying that Clutch has gotten lazy. This is still a very strong recording, containing Neal Fallon's usual witticism's and obscurities. It's just a bit obvious that their time at DRT was coming to a close and a transformation is on the horizon.

4. Dillinger Escape Plan Ire Works (Relapse)
Once again, curiosity get the best of me here. I haven't been much on the Dillinger bandwagon for a long time. Calculating Infinity has grown on me over the years but even still, The Plan has always kind of come off as a one-trick pony to me. Though Greg Picciato has been with this band for a good while now, it's fairly plain to see that his presence has allowed this band to expand and grow while still utilizing what drew public notice in the first place. Rather than throwing out 12 short tracks of multiple tech spurts and blast beats, Dillinger Escape Plan reveals many moments where they show with great flamboyance that they definitely know how to throw down the rock with the best of them. Somewhere betweem technical metal, haunting silliness and the Batman theme song, the Dillinger Escape Plan concoct a menacing slab to be saluted.

3. Porcupine Tree Fear Of A Blank Planet (Atlantic)
How this band has flown under the radar this long should be criminal. Porcupine Tree has been with a major label now for three solid albums and up to this point in their major label careers, they have been masterful at recording albums that are both artful and progressive while still having enough straight forward musicianship to attempt to expand their audience. With Planet, Porcupine Tree seems to have thrown down the gauntlet a bit by dialing up the creativity and track length, some tracks clocking in at over 17 minutes a piece. At this juncture in their life, Porcupine Tree has become extremely comfortable in various mediums that stretch from beautiful dark melodies to biting heaviness, spread about a soundscape of various electronic and techno patches. This is one album that has many different faces and explores many different moods like few others can.

2. Queens Of The Stone Age Era Vulgaris (Interscope)
The gods of rock hath smiled down upon us all with this slate of rock genuis. I was left bewildered after Lullabies, wondering if this band could recapture the attitude that makes Queens so fucking brilliant. Case closed, plain and simple. Era Vulgaris, otherwise "the common era", is anything but common. When Queens are quirky, no one quirks quite as smoothly. When the Queens deliver the rock, they drive the truck into your frontroom and unload in your lap. After the opening track lulling the listener into a sense of odd unease, "Sick Sick Sick" kicks the listener square in the family jewels in only the best ways a spectacular rock song will. Through each song, Queens Of The Stone Age may change guards on you, but they never fail to keep your attention until the next song arrives. Era Vulgaris is rock of the highest order.

1. Between The Buried And Me Colors (Victory)
Picking Colors as my favorite album of 2007 was too easy. From the first listen through, I knew that this album was something special, one of those rare moments in recording history where nothing quite seems the same anymore. While there are 8 separate tracks on this album, the separation seems to be an afterthought as this album plays as one long song over the course of 60-plus minutes of musical brilliance. If this truly is one lengthy track played continuously, I would be hard pressed to find anything else quite like this in the history of music that maintains such a sense of confidence through the multitude of fantastic, ultra-technical musicianship. If this is not quite the continuation of musicality, Colors is still an achievement of brilliance that not too bands of musicians will ever be capable of boasting. This album is a true masterwork that paints with a broad brush of influence. A special moment in my musical listening life.

Has it been a while since I've blogged here? Yep.

Things have been....well.....suck lately. School and money have me on the ropes, big time. I'm fighting my way back to .500 though. I'll come through....eventually.

The new Dillinger Escape Plan album Ire Works is rocking my sack (I didn't even really like them much until this album). Also, the Zozobra album also whompeth thine asseth.

I'm going to prep my Year In Review this weekend, I swear. I might also include movies and TV.

Stay tuned...

As is always the case, I've run afoul a tad bit of a dilemma in the realm of dating. I met a girl a few weeks ago on a dating site and met her 2 weeks ago tonight. Overall, the initial "date" went OK, though I have to admit that I wasn't plowed or blown away. She's a really nice girl and I like her as a person. As far as dating her in concerned, it's not even that she's out of the running at all. I just feel like I've done enough dating and short-changing myself to have a meaningless 9 month relationship that was destined to go south from the start. For the first time in a long time, I don't hate being alone at all. I actually am happy to feel like I have options and I'm just enjoying meeting people at the moment. I am treating this whole scenario like a top-tier free agent treats their respective off-season. I want to hear a number of sales pitches, weigh every possible option and think long and hard before deciding to date some exclusively again. Basically, I'm waiting to be blown away.....and I'm in no hurry at all.

Mindsay, for all intents and purposes, has become my blogging sanctuary. Thanks to myspace's friend feature combined with everyone on Earth having one or more pages, this has become my place to rant about things I can't rant about outright anymore. It doesn't even matter to me if only a small group of people read it here. Just having a place to rant in the first place is good.

I've been sick since Saturday evening. I worked Monday and I'm here today but in all, I'm not feeling 100%. I spent the last day or so getting caught up with my BBC Planet Earth DVD box set, a series I HIGHLY recommend to anyone remotely curious about the world at large. It is seriously one of the best science-related presentations ever created, using super high-tech camera equipment to capture footage that the naked human eye is not likely to ever witness on its own. Just beautiful cinematography and use of slow-motion trickery. The narration is top notch for fans of British people. I especially appreciate the way nothing is censored in terms of the crazy things wildlife creatures do, even as it relates to cannibalism (stupid monkeys). I'm getting Blue Planet: Seas Of Life next......can't wait!

What else? I got Kane And Lynch: Dead Men for PS3. The game bears a striking resemblance to Hitman, which I didn't love so much. Also, what is the deal with the PS3 games? Is it just me or does everything look kind of wonky, especially in HD? There must be some truth to the whole mapping + loading times issue because EVERY Xbox 360 game I've played loads faster and looks better on my HDTV and I'm running the 360 using VGA cables instead of HDMI. Still, movies look AWESOME on my TV. Whatever.

I think I'm becoming a fan of David Cross. I used to not like him or his comedy much because the DVD of Let America Laugh sucks but I've seen some of his act on YouTube and his open letter to Larry The Cable Guy is one of my favorite things to have read in months.

I need more time to watch movies. This school thing is for the birds. Three more weeks until I'm done for a good while and one more term after that (providing I pass Special Effects - as if I care about Special Effects anyway). Also, I am potentially an idiot. I've seen/own Mario Bava's "Blood And Black Lace" and I don't love it that much. In other words, it's just OK, albeit pretty violent for it's time. A few months ago, I saw 5 minutes of Bava's "Twitch Of The Death Nerve" and LOVED it (the 5 minutes) and now, I want to 8 DVD Mario Bava box set just because "Twitch Of The Death Nerve" is in the box and hasn't been available for like 5 years. Does this make me stupid?

Maybe I'm just not with it at all but I am having a terribly difficult time understanding why there are people that still refer to themselves as "conservative" after this past 7+ years. I truly don't get it.

Allow me to back up: I still have a Yahoo Personals page, despite my never looking for dates on there anymore. Today, I got an email begging me to try a 7-day trial for free because of my neglect of their site over the past how many months. Out of boredom, I took to snooping a bit and saw that I had a new female perusing my profile. I saw her picture and said "Wow, she's kind of cute." and saw that she was local. Cool. I read....blah blah blah...nothing terribly interesting or unique. Scroll down — Political Beliefs: Conservative. Game over.

Are you kidding me? Why? You know, you hate to point out the obvious (I don't), but I would argue that Conservatives have done more to divide and dumb down any sort of debate on ANYTHING in the past 7 years than people might be willing to admit. It makes me want to move to Guam. I guess it baffles me even more because women are supposed to be more gentle, caring, empathetic and thoughtful (HA!) and seeing a woman who labels herself as Conservative just remains a head scratcher. Maybe I tie too many things together a la Conservatives + supporting the war (how do they actually "support" the war anyhow? Send money? Knit hats? What?), Republicans + lack of creativity and imagination and Brtiney Spears + comedy gold.

I don't know. Sometimes I think I'd be better off if this was an area I could blissfully ignore to be in a relationship. This way, I could avoid loneliness and have someone to constantly say "Let's not talk about that." when anything mildly controversial came up in conversation like gay marriage or George Clooney. We can have kids together that are confused as to why mommy is all pumped up in front of the big screen TV with a giant bowl of Freedom Corn (Patriotic popcorn) and a 6 pack of Miller Lite watching the Sean Hannity marathon while daddy is subjected to the black & white TV in the bedroom to watch the Sean Penn movie that mommy is protesting because Mr. Penn is a communist thug who supports terrorists. I'm exaggerating but you know.......maybe I'm not.

Dating is silly.

If anyone plays this game (especially in HD) and still refuses to buy an gaming console, they have officially signed on to become an old person. Pretty soon, you will be hosting fondue parties and watching golf on TV like a nerd. Instead, stay young. Buy an Xbox 360. Play video games. Never grow old.

p.s. Skate for the 360/PS3 rules my entire world with a vengeance. Check it!

Oh what a weekend? Was it good? No. Great? No. Superb? No. Awful? You're getting warm.

I had somewhat high hopes but they were dashed quickly due to a combination of factors. First things first: I hate school. I need to finish fast. I am absolutely running on fumes and it is affecting my work. I find myself caring less and less about quality and more and more about just being done. I don't care. I know I won't get anything close to my "dream job" (killing people with a flamethrower?) and will instead end up working for Motorola creating lame web content for cell phones or something stupid. Who knows? Maybe I can be the next great .gif animator like What's His Name and Whozit. Yeah......I want my friggin' life back.

So, I did get out a little bit. Friday night found me trekking to the saddest place on Earth for dinner. Yep....Culver's. The worst yet, the food is seriously tantilizing to me. It's beyond depressing to eat there but I can't help myself. Saturday, after a rough go of it with my homework, I watched Resident Evil: Apocalypse. Ummm.......d'oh. They should just stop making movies based on video games. The first movie was OK for a modern zombie movie but none of these new movies, sans Planet Terror (which rules with an iron fist of justice), cut it when compared to the best of the zombie genre. Well, Apocalypse is more of a sci-fi/action romp with zombies as sort of an afterthought. It's fairly light on gore and violence and no scarier than any episode of Ugly Betty you probably have never seen. I did manage to see the episodes of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia at Nicole's when I dropped off her Halloween props Saturday night. The band episode was AAAAMMMMAAZZZING!!!!! I need a copy of "Nightman"......so friggin' hilarious.

I dragged myself to the Buy for a few new musical entanglements. Actually, one was the Demetri Martin CD/DVD entitled These Are Jokes. Pretty funny in the Flight Of The Conchords way, similar to the hilarious Eugene Mirman. I also got The Sleeping Questions And Answers thanks to the bonus track on GH3. So far, I enjoy their rockin'silliness.

Sunday was brutal. Homework nearly ended my life but I managed to scrape enough of it together but I need to pick up the pace in the next 6 weeks to come out on top. I also viewed another Netflix entry - George A. Romero's Monkey Shines. Actually, it wasn't bad at all. I would lose about 15-20 minutes only because some scenes dragged a bit longer than necessary. I see that it's not one of his more popular films and it's not on par with his zombie gems but it was decent enough. Nothing I'd buy though. At least the eve ended well enough with another top notch episode of the almighty Dexter followed by the 5 remaining episodes of Californication. Yep, Showtime hath supplanted HBO as the go-to pay cable network of choice at the moment.

Did I mention that Dexter is probably the best thing on TV right now? Start watching because it's the truth.